For example if my colleague was struggling to connect with their graduate student, and we found ourselves at a function with other advisers, I might casually ask a group whether they’ve experienced trouble connecting with their students and, if so, how they managed the situation. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies-from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy-Kross explains how these. One approach involves covertly providing practical support, like cleaning up the house without being asked.Īnother could involve helping broaden people’s perspectives indirectly by, for example, talking in general terms about others who have dealt with similar experiences (for example, ‘it’s amazing how stressful everyone finds parenthood’), or by soliciting advice from someone else but without signalling that the questions are meant to help the person in need. In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. In such situations providing support invisibly, without people being aware you’re helping them is useful. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still ways of helping others when they experience chatter and don’t ask for assistance. Ethan Kross is one of the world’s leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. Offering advice about how to reduce chatter can backfire when people don’t ask for help it threatens people’s sense of self-efficacy and autonomy.

Chatter by Ethan Kross